Finding the Courage to Finish

Ladies, can I let you in on a secret? On January 1st I made New Year’s Resolutions for the first time since 2013…probably because I had some big ambitions back then and fell off the bandwagon early on. Probably after I went through my unmentionables drawer actually www.fearlesstheanthology.blogspot.ca

I’ve always loved new beginnings and fresh starts. There’s something exhilarating about a clean slate. The do-over erases mistakes I’ve made in the past and gives me another chance.

The thing with resolutions is, if we haven’t committed to life change our lists mean nothing.

Why talk about this right now? In March?? Because of a pang, a big one. A regret that has made me sad for a long time. It was something I was pursuing years ago. But then I quit.

I wanted to learn Spanish. One day I met a wonderful lady from Argentina who taught Spanish and so I started taking lessons. The beauty of the language captivated my romantic heart and I threw myself into memorizing words, conjugating verbs and stringing sentences together like crazy. I was a Spanish~ learning machine!

I was so pumped that a life-long dream was being fulfilled! I was so excited that I quit. Threw in the towel.

Why?

A thought started niggling at me…a tiny little thing really. But the more I fed that thought the bigger it became until it swallowed my dream whole.

“There isn’t anyone to practice speaking with. You’re going to spend all this time learning a language that you’ll forget in a couple of months! What an incredible waste of time!”

I hate the self-defeating trash talk that echoes in my head when I don’t finish something. The voice of ridicule seems to shout LOUDLY “you are such a failure”! Have you ever been so sick of the negative voices in your own head that you told yourself to shut-up?!?

No te rindas

 

I get that in life there are some things you need to bring to a grinding halt. Poor decisions leading you away from truth and light need to stop. But if we’re honest with ourselves ladies there are things we should have stuck out. Struggled our way through. Seen to the end. But we quit.

Perseverance is the KEY to finishing

Persevere in prayer to be filled with peace

Persevere in forgiveness to be set free

Persevere in commitment and you’ll build lasting relationships

Persevere through pain and you will find joy

Persevere in training and you will be able to compete

Persevere through hardship and you will have strengthened your faith

Persevere through uncertainty and you will find yourself courageous

Persevere in the midst of defeat and you will come out in victory

Persevere while surrounded by shadows and you find the light

No te rindas~ don’t give up! Push through the tough spots so you can savour the victory on the other side.

My list for 2015? Simple but sincere…

  1. Kiss hubs 1 time everyday 🙂  (at least)
  2. Read 1 book
  3. Finish 1 project
  4. Clean out 1 guest room completely
  5. Get dirty 1 time doing something crazy and fun
  6. Connect with 1 person that I haven’t been able to in the past
  7. Develop 1 good habit
  8. Call Grandma 1 time a month
  9. Go to the doctor for an annual (1) check-up
  10. Learn 1 new thing, study a subject that interests me…maybe I’ll go back to my Spanish lessons

It’s Time to Quit

I sat in kitchen and wept. Hot tears coursed down my cheeks, splat, splat, splat as they hit the deep brown wood of the tabletop. I was wasted, exhausted, used up and feeling deeply unappreciated.

 

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Hadn’t I worked hard? Hadn’t I thrown myself into ensuring success for everyone concerned? Wasn’t I going “above and beyond” the call of duty? Hadn’t I stepped up when no one else wanted to? Hadn’t anyone noticed??

 

Poor, poor pitiful me. I decided to quit. Stop trying so hard to do the right thing. Stop showing up. Stop feeling like I needed to be the hero. Let someone else do it, I reasoned with myself. Walk away. Let this be a lesson to you. It’s just not worth it.

 

I seemed to have bought in to our cultural standard that declares unless someone notices the job you did, the hours you put in, the sacrifice you made, you will never get ahead. Unless your name is in lights and people are moving out of your way to let you pass, you haven’t “made it”. Me. Me. Me.

 

But what does faith say? It says…shhh. Do your work quietly and without being broadcast. Be still so that you can hear God say…hey, I see what you did! I love that you made someone else’s life-journey easier. I will make sure that what you’ve done has far-reaching impact so that more people hear the message of how much I love them!

 

Our ego’s are often thinly disguised by acts of charity…how can you tell? If you get upset when no one noticed what you did and how hard you worked. So what is a true act of charity?

 

True charity is this, that we love our neighbors and love God with heart, soul, strength and mind. That we see a need and fill it without judgement, without pride, without hoopla, without calculating personal benefit. That we actually don’t think about ourselves at all, but are so moved by compassion for another’s situation that it drives us, compels us to action.

 

So, yah. I quit. I’m done with seeking praise and acknowledgement from people. I want God’s approval and that means I need to do things radically different than this culture is telling me it has to be done. No social-media campaign to advertise what I’ve accomplished. Instead, a life that shouts out my love for God in the quietest of ways, in the softest of voices, in stillness of peace. 

 

I’d like to discover what a quiet life is. Care to join me?